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DQPA - Quotes of the Week

Please e-mail eric@iosphere.net if you have any quotes of the week to submit.

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City guard at night enquiring after his partner Bob: "Bob? Where are you Bob?"

Rouse, orc assassin, currently under the effects of the spells shadow form and shadow wings steps out into the torchlight and replies: "BOB'S DEAD"

Queue roll on fright table....

                              by Paul Huntington

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Exchange between the dwarf Thurngol,
hanging over a precipice above an abyss with one hand,
the other gripping his solid Mithril large shield,
while the elf Fandril tries to pull him to safety.

Fandril: "You're too heavy! Drop the shield!"

Thurngol: "gggaaAAAHHH, NO! DROP ME!"

Demon: "Aren't you the one known as Felgir, Demon Slayer?"

Felgir: "Oh crap!"

                              by Don Hawthorne

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Demon: "Aren't you the one known as Felgir, Demon Slayer?"

Felgir: "Oh crap!"

                              by Dingo Dog

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Party Leader: "You two look after your prisoners."

Players (in unison): "I slit his throat."

                              by Dingo Dog

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Player: "Why sneak up and pick his pocket? I'll just kill him and loot his corpse. He won't notice me then!"

GM: ...
                              by Gregg Evans

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Goblin: That's right, run you blood sucking pig!
                              by Eric G. Carlson

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Orc: We made a pretty good deal, didn't we?

Halfling: What do you mean WE?!

Orc: If you don't give me my cut, I'm gonna
shake the difference out of you!!
                              by Gregg Evans

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"All souls aboard the train to Hell,
I am your conductor!"

~ by the late and only passenger aboard
the train to Hell - Soldar ~
                              by Gregg Evans

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A deep voice from a dark room in a demon-infested
dungeon: "Why don't you come IN?"

PC, mocking: "Why don't you come OUT?"

~The Demon, freed by the PC's invitation,
leaps out and seizes the PC.~
                              by Loki Freyr

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Thief: "Screw this I'm leaving!"

Mage: "You are not leaving. You are FIRED!"

~A fireball comes streaming straight for the thief~
                              by Gregg Evans

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Party Leader: "There is no friggin' way
I'm letting you bring a gorilla into this party."

Ranger: "Fine! YOU tell'im!!!"
                              by Gregg Evans

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Velvar the Torturer explains to the
local clergy his philosophy on the Javelin:
"The Javelin is the universal weapon. It locks
doors, opens poor boxes and kills priests.
Now, say your Prayers priest!"
                              by Gregg Evans

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Player 1: "Are you evil?"
Soldar: "Well, let me put it to you this way, I
wouldn't kill my mother, but I'd steal her purse!"
                              by Gregg Evans

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"I take off all off my clothes and weapons, then
jump on the back of the Giant Spider"
                              by the late - Cyght Dunhill